Sometimes we get stuck in our recovery. Whether it be when we 1st begin on when we’ve been going for a few years, there is quite often a ‘blockage’ here and there. At least it seems that way. Here are a few questions that I’ve pinched and re-arranged from a questionnaire that I was given. Try to answer them honestly and within a day or so. If you hang it out too long, maybe you are not ready to be asked them just yet. Maybe!

1. what memories are still painful, guilty or dirty.

2. in what way do you feel inadequate

3. what do you see your main faults as being

4. do you have recurring problems with intimate relationships

5. how do you see these things being addressed

6. what can you do next in order to change

Daily routines can be boring and mind numbing. But when we are on the comeback trail from serious emotional disturbances, we need simple, safe routines in order to build familiarity. Familiarity reduces fear, which in turn eases our mind and allows us to start thinking straight. I know that I have said this before but it is worth keeping in mind.

At the beginning of my new life, when I was journeying into the unkown, I used to write a list before I went to bed. The list would be all the things that I needed/wanted to do the next day. I would leave it on the floor by the front door, which meant that I couldn’t leave without it. When this practice became a habit I would almost always complete the chore list. In time this gave me a sense of confidence that the world was no longer beating me up.

It is time to move on when the routines have become to easy and quite boring!

We always need to remember that we can be with other people what we cannot be alone. Pain drives us into a corner where we think that we need to protect ourselves at all costs. In protecting ourselves we block out the world and then end up fighting with it in one way or another.

Sometimes this emotional/spiritual closing down seems sudden and catastrophic, but more ofeten than not it happens over a long period. Our reasons to resist this ‘shut down’ are good but we are worn down in the end.

Any attempts we make to restore ourselves or start again must always be tempered by these questions: Can I do this alone and where do I turn for help? This is the beginning of freedom.

To move on emotionally/spiritually we first need to know where we are today. In order that we can start to see what we need to be we must first see what we are and what we are not. This process begins with a simple and honest reflection about what is going on now. If we are honest with ourselves we can then start to see the limitations that are causing us problems. To build a new house we must first take down the old.