It is interesting how many people define defects of character differently. It is even more interesting how many people look on defects of character with disdain. Especially in others. The old admonition says that ‘ we should not through stones if we live in a glass house’.

Follow this link to a short audio recording on youtube  of Claire Weekes. She speaks forcefully about  panic and fear not being defects of character.

In today’s recovery industry her words are a breath of fresh air and something on which to ponder. The recording is short but if you have means there are CD’s available and many of her books are on Amazon and Ebay.

This quotation from Ralph Waldo Emerson also talks about defects of character being deeper than a mere change of circumstance. A flaw in character is part of who I am. ‘God will remove them’ you might say. ‘You can change yourself and get rid of them’ you might also say.

Indeed. But in his way, time and place if at all. And this is the conundrum that we all face when we are looking to mature emotionally.

Firstly, my apologies for the inconsistent posts concerning Dr Weekes’ book Self Help For your Nerves. In attempting to give commentary and reflection on the late Doctor’s work I forgot that I would have to make the time to read it first!

And so our not so weekly offering (randomly picked) concerns Chapter 22 and ‘The 3 friends’ of occupation/courage and religion.

She begins; nervous breakdown is an emotional and mental exhaustion that usually begins with, and is maintained by fear. To a degree these symptoms of nervous breakdown are experienced by many people at one time or another and are a natural extension of everyday stress, magnified of course, by many times.

When we suffer such a breakdown we often believe that we are finished and cannot deal with what we are experiencing. Dr Weekes reassures us that there are no monsters waiting to devour us; no precipice over which we fall ”if we don’t look out”; no special point beyond which recovery is particularly difficult. Anywhere, at any time during breakdown, if we lose our fears we can step out of it.

These words do seem flippant, especially to the person deep in the pain of breakdown. But what the Doctor sees is what those people who do recover see; that healing can and does happen. And indeed that those times which seem darkest are part of the illusion that binds us to re-experience and re-cycle that darkness. She does not lay down time constraints for recovery. Only thoughts on the pathway toward it. The constant link between her thoughts is the vanquishing of fear. Fear is the obstacle that bars our way. It holds us to the breakdown itself. Breaking this link sets us free.

I never really know whether there is a point of no return. I guess there is otherwise people wouldn’t kill themselves. But whatever the case there is always something inside that wants to live and that urges me to live. I think it is this to which the Doctor appealed.

We believe that fate bars our way to recovery but whatever the circumstances of our life’s 3 friends will help us forward: Occupation courage and religion.

The racing mind is almost impossible to quiet by will alone and idleness can be torture to the sufferer. But occupation in the company of others is the best crutch for the tired mind. We must however, make sure that occupation is not used as a tool with which to fight our problems. This will lead to greater exhaustion.

If a person 1st accepts their condition, be prepared to cease fighting and accept the tricks that the frayed nerves will play on them, then occupation can divide the mind into 2 parts; the suffering part and the new part which accepts what is going on. This will help the person float on and into recovery rather than hang on through fear. The suffering part may continue to suffer for a while but the trouble will hover in the background.

Occupation is now the blessing that acts as a splint for the tired mind, replacing painful thoughts with impersonal ones and helping us to relax and break the cycle. Suffering recedes: This is on the condition that we look forward to our future healing without resentment, resistance, fighting or fear.

In her own style (and one that I favour) she sums up the 1st part of this chapter:

let occupation be a crutch

accept the tricks that your nerves will play on you while attempting to lose yourself in occupation

relax, accept the temporary slowness of your thought and be prepared to think as slowly as your tired brain allows; time and peace will bring full recovery

if you are a housewife, do not stay alone all day; find interest away from home

seek occupation in the company of others

remember, an hour spent in bed in panic, will exhaust you more than light occupation will, so get off that bed.

I hope this gives you food for thought and something to hang onto should you be in distress. it is better to be occupied in a simple routine than to be trying to work out your problems by thinking them out. It goes without saying that the broken mind cannot suddenly un-break itself. If you fear for your mind and life then seek guidance from the right places. Doctors are not everything but a good place to start should you need immediate help. Do not suffer alone and in the dark.

The next part on Courage will follow.

I have been trying to summarise certain passages from Claire Weekes’ book Self Help For Your Nerves. She is convinced that recovery from nervous breakdown is possible once certain understandings have been shown to the sufferer. The sufferer themselves must be willing to accept certain facts, do certain things, and let time be part of the healing process.

Her thoughts on the 2 different types of breakdown (simple and complicated) were followed by some of the complications themselves. We started with sorrow and will now brush on guilt.

According to Dr Weekes, if guilt is an action that we have done, as opposed to something that has come from outside of us, we should be ready to ‘confess’ and make reparation.

If confession and reparation do not seem to have much immediate effect do not be disappointed as the nervous system may still be fatigued and will tend to supplant new guilt for old.

This is because the nervous system is still unbalanced and exhausted by constant thinking and focus on the problems it has been facing. Once informed with the right information about such we will be able to see the guilt for what it is, namely the dysfunction of our system and thought process.

Guilt alone can cause breakdown but it is more usual that a guilt complex arises during an already established breakdown. The mind, made super sensitive and non-resilient by fatigue, latches on to any guilt, real or imagined. This may persist for a while as the mind searches for things to replace that which we are trying to get rid of.

We must try to unburden the self by speaking closely with our adviser and making amends where possible. And should not dwell on the possibility that this un-burdening is lasting or not as when we are ‘cured’ we will ‘feel’ these things less acutely and be able to see ourselves and what is going on from a more rational perspective. TO BE CONTINUED

(From my own experience I believe that when I eventually ‘broke’, the catastrophic feelings of guilt came afterward. In fact quite closely afterward. I then confused everything I was going through with guilt on the dastardly things that I had done in my life. The guilt became a filter for everything else and I was blinded and laid low by it. It was an un-speakable catastophy that took many years to recover from. My major mistake was trying to put myself back together alone and hiding my true thoughts from everyone. Hence the pain and near madness continued to rule my life. The finding of a true confidant, the ‘confession’ and the willingness to try make amends eased the anguish. Not all at once, but enough to see the light. True peace I have known now. So yes we can be ‘cured’ of breakdown if we can be open to the healing of our broken selves.  )

The first chapter in Claire Weekes book ‘Self Help For Your Nerves’  is entitled The Power Within You. The chapter has 3 basic premises. 1) the book is written exactly for those having a nervous breakdown. 2) It is easy to read with no technical language. 3) if you follow the advice given you will recover from your nervous illness.

These premises are based upon the fact, for her, that each of us has within themselves the needed resources to help ourselves and find a cure for our malady. What we need is courage and perseverance that we find within ourselves, and direction, which her book will provide. She does not ask for patience as this is a rare quality in a nervously ill person, and so, unrealistic. In speaking like this Dr Weekes shows a sensitivity to the problem that some other ‘teachers’ do not have.

She goes on to say that, the guidance you need is in this small book. The perseverance and courage you can, with help, find within yourself. The strength to recover is within you, once you are shown the way. I assure you of this. Each of us has unexpected power to accomplish what we demand of ourselves, if we care to search for it. You are no exception. You can find it if you make up your mind to, however great a coward you may think of yourself at this moment. I have no illusions about you: I am not writing this book for the rare brave people, but for you, probably a sick, suffering, ordinary human being with no more courage than the rest of us, but – and this is the important thing – with the same unplumbed, unsuspected power in reserve as the rest of us.

I take to what she says in her book and have been quietly pleased that my own book has some similarity with some of her ideas. I suppose after all, that we might have shared some of the same experience and therefore some of the same recovery.

For my own part I believe that there are some things that cannot be done for ones-self through ones-self and that that help must come from some kind of spiritual approach. We shall see what Dr Weekes has to say in later chapters.