It is my experience that emotional/spiritual movement (or whatever the proper word is) is not totally in my hands. Over time I have come to realise that I am not the best judge of when I am read to move, understand something, let go etc. What I can do is keep myself ready and available for this change to happen, by keeping an open mind and following a few disciplines, by which I don’t dissappear too far up my own backside. Thus I am more likely to see the opportunity when it is presented.
The journey into wholeness is ongoing and peices of the jigsaw are presented in such a way so that they fit properly. By that I mean that understanding and compassion grows along with the picture as it emerges.
To turn down these opportunities through anger, resentment, fear or pride is to keep oneself enthralled to the present state of being. And what type of person would give up a chance to change themselves for the better? I have found and am finding out, that my ideals are limited, and although rational, to me anyway, in the long run do not allow me to be who I could be. How do I know this? By trying another way where the ideals are greater than what I could have thought up for myself. In this way I become a different person, more in love with this life and the people in it.