Psalm 139: 14 says that we ‘are wonderfully and fearfully made’.
Indeed, the ebb and flow of our faith in life and ourselves passes through many stages. And you might personally know the paradox in this psalm.
Why I cannot seem to eradicate fear completely from my heart is a burning question that has caused me to turn toward God and, at times away from God. I am wonderfully and fearfully made.
I suppose I have reached a point where I keep unconsciously asking myself ‘is this it?’ The question and the answer have caused me great pain. I am at odds to explain who I am and what I think I would like to be.
The fear has grown alongside the loss of trust both in myself, in God and in those around me. I am told that in this place faith is….somewhere. That God has not left me and that I will be a better man for the experience. But pain has a way of persuading otherwise. I feel the cancer of my emotional conflict.
But here I am, fearfully and wonderfully made, like it or not. I reach out to you my friends….our God, and bid you goodnight wherever you are.